Small penises have feelings too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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