i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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