: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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