Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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