Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
