I must be too annoying 4 u.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
