remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
