I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
