What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
