is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hippo gnu deer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
