dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
cat food counts as protein by the way
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
