party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize