just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
do herpes really smell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
