suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
