you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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