i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
