Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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