I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
