1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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