she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
