I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize