Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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