We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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