i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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