Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
