Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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