i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
