Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
