Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
