His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
