I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
