Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
