Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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