walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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