I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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