You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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