i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
