I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Randomize
