wake up i wanna do it froggy style
love makes seman taste better
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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