Whod you bang
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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