So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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