She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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