im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
