haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish i was in the wii world.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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