We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
