he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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