There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
