last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it because I queefed?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
