I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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