We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
