Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
