I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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