I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
