I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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