ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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