I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if only i could text you this smell
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
