I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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