porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
