I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
