He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
