Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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