So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
false alarm. still invincible.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
