New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
