I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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