The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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