Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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