We named our party play list daddy issues
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
