im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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