I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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